Wednesday 13 November 2013

When cheating becomes a weapon of choice

This is an open letter to all my brothers and sister out there. Hid my warning (liking the dramatic effect), we are often trapped in the shackles of what we term relationships sticking around even when things have gone bust because we believe ourselves to be the agent that changes the people in our lives to be better partners. If this is you I suggest you stop, stop thinking you change her/him to be the better person.

In the beginning of all relationships promises are made expectations are raised, trust is built and partners are bonded. However, when things start to head south because of various reasons like cheating being the common one, things change. That change is often good or bad, if done once and your partner confuses without you having to play detective I say by all means forgive him or her. Those cases are forgivable and trust can be rebuilt.

However, if he/she is a repeated offender of cheating and continuously lies to you, to you I say get the hell out of the kitchen because it is only likely to get worse. The reality that people chose to ignore is that love is no suppose to hurt, lie, cheat or make you feel unworthy of being loved and respected. Women and men stop this non-sense of disregarding the feelings of others; if you feel you’re not cut out to be faithful don’t get into a relationship. Don’t play on the good nature of others, because you can’t have your cake and eat it. If you can be disrespected now do you thinking getting married or having a baby will change things! Women stop trapping men with babies and men stop making women want to trap you (Note that I don’t discriminated). This vicious circle is creating a generation of bitter young people and the few good men and women of principles left become victims as a result there off. It is bloody annoying that some people are selfish and only think of themselves and put others in the “to hell with you” bracket. It’s sad to see so many people living in D-NILE/DENIAL (even I’ve swam in that river a couple of times). Victoria Holt once said “Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad its experience” so when things become bad, let go and think of the experience learnt. Sometimes it becomes more important to let go especially for your own sanity.


Sometimes you need to realise that “if you are brave to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello” Paulo Coehlo, this hello will meaning loving yourself enough to know what you deserve and don’t deserve. If you plan to get back out there you also need to remember that good fortune only ever favours that brave, so be that brave someone.

2 comments:

  1. Couldn't have said it better!! It's important to also know your worth and know the respect that you deserve for it. That way, if it is not appreciated enough, you clearly someone doesn't deserve you, then there's no need to subject yourself to the trauma.

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  2. You are on point; we are living in tough times. People have lost all morals and lost all shreds of dignity. This has become a sport in our society. And from a woman’s perspective I thing we have allowed men to continuously do this to us become we have lost self respect and we don’t know our true value and maybe don’t love your selves enough. I’m a bit of a feminist, however I do acknowledge that woman too are guilty of this crime, maybe just not to the same extend men do and mostly not for the same reasons.

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