ALL MEN/WOMEN CHEAT OR NOT!

So if you live on this planet and you’re not under age it is safe to say you’ve used this statement at some point or another ‘all men/women cheat’ depending on which side of the spectrum you are standing. As true as this statement might sound, not all men or women cheat. Those who use the statement have just had the misfortune of learning from one of life’s experiences.


Truth be told no man or woman, who truly cares about the other person in their lives would want to cheat on them let alone hurt them, period! When you hurt your partner you also hurt yourself if you truly care at all for them. The infliction of pain on someone whom you care about is something you will never indulge in especially if you foresee a future with that person. In my opinion, people who cheat are those who can’t bring themselves to be honest with other person in their lives. For whatever the reasons, nothing justifies cheating. If you are unhappy or you’ve met someone else who tickles your fancy, tell the person in your life to release them and walk away. There is nothing worse than when one person is moving on whilst holding the other ‘hostage’ because you think lying is better. It is only better for you that is lying because you get to eat your cake and have it. If you truly care for the other person be honest with them. Yes, the truth will stink like hell but you’ll know where you stand enough to stop making a fool of yourself and fighting for a fight already lost. No, you shouldn’t have to read between the lines because the same way said you liked each other you can say it’s over. Rather the pain that goes away eventually and not the one that leads you into thinking all men/women cheat.


Remember that when you cheat you are not just cheating on someone, you are also cheating yourself out of trust and happiness on both sides of whatever you are involved in. There is only so many times that trust can be broken. Yes, things could get back to ‘some normal’ but you would also have helped induce paranoia which is only leads to fights, and more fighting. As human beings we often believe that lying is better, yet the ripple effects of lies are far more damaging. The next good women/men who walk into to the lives of the damaged are sacrificed by the mistakes of other. So know this now, not all men/women cheat, just because you got done over last time the next person you are going to be involved with might not cheat on you at all. Furthermore, stop carrying the baggage from your previous relationship into the next, because you will only ruin things before they have even begun. Sometimes, we are quick to fight for people forgetting that maybe just maybe that is not the person God has planned for you. Learn to guard your heart and pray you would be amazed at the peace God can give you in your darkest hours. So ladies and gentlemen if you aren’t feeling the person in your life let them go rather than making a fool of them by cheating on them. Remember, just because you got hurt today it doesn’t mean the same will happen tomorrow. There are genuine people out there, just be open enough to drop your baggage before you get back on the dating horse.

TRUSTING YOUR GUT

Often times we hear the expression ‘trust your gut’ or ‘trust your instincts’ yet as human beings we choose to ignore that gut feeling even when it is screaming so loud its echoes can be heard at the top of Mount Kilimanjaro. So why do we ignore it?

It’s rather quite simple to be honest. As human beings we don’t like to fail, lose or even acknowledge defeat when we set our minds to wanting something. We ignore the red flags so much so we turn them green just so we can justify why we went past them in the first place. Like babies, we like to be told what we want to hear even when we know clearly, there is no truth in what is being said.

We need to remember, not all things in this life are meant to stay with us forever, jobs, friends, opportunities, girlfriends, boyfriends……………all these things are some point will need to be just seasonal and not worthy of a life time. Flowers bloom on a seasonal bases but an oak tree can grow and live longer then some human beings. This is the same with people and opportunities.

For heck’s sake even seasons change as do human beings. Remember that everything, person or opportunity has something different to offer. It is up to you to decide if what is being offered is what you want or need for yourself. Be wary to ask advice from people not befitting to give it, e.g. relationship advice from a non-committer, career advice from a career-less person. How do you ask advice, from someone who hasn't gotten it right themselves! Avoid putting yourself in situations where your gut is screaming No, No. Don’t push for the wrong things and complain when things go wrong.

Learn to communicate your needs and wants to avoid disappointments. Don’t make assumptions and expect to get the results or treatment you think you deserve if you don’t open your mouth. Don’t assume things because to do so, you will only ‘ASS-U-ME’. If you communicate your wants and needs and you aren’t getting them, move on and don’t waste your time. Stop pouring energy into something to make it work if it’s not right.

To quote Nina Shadi “…leave people behind that do not serve your happiness, and deplete you of joy. Don’t put your energy into feeding a person or experiences something that it doesn’t want or need. Don’t spend time with the people that do not make you happy and feed your soul. Don’t try to make people into something that they are not; and don’t do the same with experiences. Always keep in mind that everyone and everything has its own manual. Don’t assume that you have all the answers already, and know what’s best. Remember that we all have different needs, speeds of growth, feelings and communication styles. Read the instruction manual and proceed with caution. Stay away from bad apples. Give people the benefit of the doubt, and give people second chances, but always trust your gut and do what is right in your heart first and foremost. Remember, everything has meaning, and everything has its own phase; don’t try to extend it past that; it’ll only bring you unneeded pain and disappointment”.