REFLECTIONS ON LIFE

So it was recently suggested I seemed bitter in my blog and to be honest, some posts were written during the darkest time in my life to date. Guess I was being bitter because of all the crazy things I've done and hope never to do again. The reality is at some point in our lives, those of us who are honest enough with ourselves realize that we are all afraid to end up alone. Tell me anyone who isn't and I will clearly tell you that, that person hasn't thought further into their old age years.

However, the question I often ask myself is when does one begin to panic about the possibility of ending up alone! Question is we all see these old men and women who are single and we naturally assume they are living the life but the reality is they are not. Sometimes people often fake it and until they start to believe it however, when you go to sleep and all you have are your thoughts that’s when the regret and loneliness kicks in. So does that then mean you’ll need to settle out of the fear of being alone, well such choices at the end of the day are always personal because you’ll be the one sacrificing your happiness to settle. The reality is that being alone has its own benefits but the older you get those benefits turn into loneliness.

Being single in your earlier days should be the one period in your life where you get to lay down the laws of what you want or don’t want from a potential partner.  Growing up I often thought people just needed to have chemistry and the rest will fall in play boy was I wrong. So, wrong I could punch myself for being so stupid. Ladies, gentlemen chemistry is like perfume I've come to realize it is strongest in the beginning and fades over time. That is something that has taken awhile for me to understand and reflect upon. The wise then came up with the concept of settling down with a friend, by friend I mean someone whom you like and can talk to about everything like you would your home girl or home boy. What I am trying to say is settle with someone who brings out your great qualities and can hold your hands in public even when you look like shit because he/she knows you’re just having a bad day and your look is temporal for there is more to you than meets the eye.

Ladies, we need to stop thinking we can change everyone we meet. The reality is change comes from within and in order for that change to happen you need to start with self love.  How can you expect to make someone happy when you yourself are a mess and unhappy!  As soon as people start fixing each other and not working towards a common goal for the future know your relationship is DOOMED. A Relationship should be based on more than playing Kerry Washington in Scandal/The Fixer. Moreover, if you start exhibiting changes in your behavior to a point where you don’t recognize yourself, then you know it’s time to let go of that sinking ship. Yes, if any person or relationship causes you to become a crazy version of yourself to a point where you could be described as psychotic person then you know it’s time to let go and don’t be afraid to be alone. It wouldn't be easy but it’s either that or you waste away pinning for someone who will likely move on whiles you make yourself stationary. In life if you do all the right things for your life, the right person for you will come in good time.

Growing up is not easy but don’t compromise your principles to accommodate people who don’t deserve it.

Interesting article for further reading:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wait-but-why/how-to-pick-your-life-partner_b_4848898.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women&ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000050

The road to flawless skin: Part 1

After years of fighting dark spots and acne, if I can even call it that, I have finally decided to end this never ending phase of puberty. Hell, I am well beyond the puberty stage but these pimples do not seem to agree. My relationship with pimples honestly needs to end. In order for this to happen, I had to seek professional council and by that I mean a mean ass dermatologist.

Some of you are probably thinking "has she completely lost it?" Before you ride off into the sunset on the judgment horse first hear me out. All my life, I've been surrounded by people with flawless skin. Yes, it was a little intimidating at first but I figured; what the hek, it’s only a passing phase. Boy was I wrong! Name an acne over the counter product and I have used it. Well at the time I thought, a wash and cream in the morning, afternoon and evening will do the trick. And I did used them all expecting to look as good as new. Perhaps not immediately (although at first) but after a few weeks or months. That was some 12 odd years ago. And don't you dare start making pointless calculations about my age. It will not solve my acne problem nor will it help my mental state right now. All you need to know is that I have seen many sunrises and sunsets and lived through acne filled days. Let us not lose focus please.

Anyway, after years of going through different products, both cheap and expensive (by that I mean equal to two denims from Mr P,) I have decided to throw in the towel and seek professional help. By the way, the pharmacies pretended to not remember who I was when I went back to get my money back. The first thing I did after receiving my new best friend aka face cream from the dermatologist, was to march straight to my laptop, can you say GOOGLE anybody? Oh Yes I did it. Of cos I got it from a professional but Google beats that professional who probably spent years reading about pimples all their life. In all honesty, I was worried about the things the Doctor 'forgot' to mention such as side effects of using this magic cream. Boy, did I regret reading about the side effects. I mean they were more than China's 2012 population (Ok maybe I'm being a bit dramatic) but they were enough to make me start second guessing my decision to visit a professional.

However, when acne and desperation make up a sentence to describe your current state, you sort of suck it up and visualise your future flawless skin. Hek, even Justin Bieber suffers from acne. At my age, how am I to share a commonality with 18 year old Justin Bieber??

Needless to say, all that worry was for nothing because the only side effects I've been experiencing so far are just dried lips. The Sahara desert currently has nothing on my lips. My face has also started giving the Niger Delta a run for their money. Perhaps Knowledge Katti should consider mining for oil on my face instead.

Eish! The struggle for flawless skin continues.

Happy Valentine's day

Today all around the world we celebrate the commercial holiday for businesses to score big by selling us the idea of a love filled day. Well before you get me all wrong let me explain why I feel the way I do.  So a few days before 14 February aka Valentines days I decided to do something for myself. Yes I went out and shamelessly got myself a gift as no one was offering. 

With that out of the way I figured I could try and push my budget just a little to get myself a second gift, a tattoo. Only problem I had with this idea was the fact that, I wasn’t much of a sucker for pain. I was considering getting the tattoo in an area that’s considered too painful to link, the wrist. Yes, out of sheer fascination I was going to link my name to my wrist. It’s not like I didn’t already love myself (Sounding slightly egotistic, I know). After much thought and deliberation I decided to abandon the idea all together. 

With that scrapped of my list I went to sleep plotting on what to do with myself on Valentine’s Day. No sooner had I gotten into bed, the mosquitoes decided hell if we aren’t feeding of you then you aren’t sleeping. I kid you not, these little suckers were out for pounds of blood.  Without even realizing it I was on their Valentines list as the main course. The night has never been so long. So being the strategist that I was I decided covering up all of my body even in this heat except for my face would be a better option. I mean what mosquitoes would want to feed from an oily face, anyway. Boy, Was I wrong! The little suckers tried and succeeded in feeding off my face it was crazy. At that point even acne irritation felt way better. To add to my frustrations some of my neighbors figured it was ok to start singing and screaming kumbaya at the oddest hour of the night. The battle between the mosquitoes and I went on for so long, until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. I gave into sleep and let the mosquitoes do their worst and boy did they.  

Needless to say after already no being excited about V-day the mosquitoes made sure I was in the worst of moods all together this morning. So after having scarred the tattoo idea I decided I could still get myself a valentine’s gift in the form of all available mosquito terminating products on the shelf.  Yes you read right for Valentine’s Day I got myself Doom in all its forms and sizes.  I figured I might not be romantic but on this Valentine’s Day I will finally get to sleep in peace. 

Trying to understand life

We often go around saying experience is the best teacher but do we all really need to go that route or can we observe from the sidelines to know we're making a mistake!

Starters:
Yes, its believed that observations are enough to take a conclusive decision without having to experience but we also often forget that observations are flawed for they are never the same. If fact observation are flawed by the mere fact that human behavior is never continuous and if there is a pattern it will require years of observations to be detected. So what I'm driving at with  this topic is that matters of the heart are rarely and seldomly repetitive. However, if matters of the heart look like they are about to repeat themselves yhen by all means draw on experience.

Main Menu
So the problem I have with experience is that even if you learn a lesson from it, it often leaves you scarred. These scars often runs so deep you don't see how it negatively affects some elements of the decisions you take in future. In fact I've seen past experiences ruin prospective happiness all because there were no filters put in for all past hurts. Yes I said filters! We've become such gullible human beings we take in everything given to us without understanding the importance of filtration. This I've seen especially in women! We tend to give our friends advice based on our experiences forgetting that no two people in this world are the same and as such their experiences will not necessarily be the same as well. Thus, I I've learned to try and be honest with my friends when they ask for my advice based on a similar experiences.  I tell them, my advice would be to biased to follow however, deduce from whatever I tell you and remember that not all experiences are the same. This means that I'm hoping that the other party involved is sincere enough to know and understand that whatever they had done was wrong and they need to shy away from such behave.

Dessert:
The reality of the world we live in, is that we need experience, observation and intuition to make a conclusive decision about a lot of matters whether it be those of life or the heart. The gut feeling is never wrong and more so we need to pray about the worries we carry around. Its in this phase that slander becomes a better and attractive option whilst forgetting that someone or people will get hurt in this process. Honesty, then thus becomes an important element of the whole process cause there is only much further that intuition, experience and observation will take you! So before you go around doing and accepting everything you're told like a parrot use intuition, observation, experience,  honesty and good old fashioned prayers to guide you!