BEING THANKFUL

So just this week I met a bunch of amazing people and whilst hanging with them the question of what we were most thankful for came up. For the first time in the last 3 years I couldn't actually say what I was thankful for. It’s not that I had nothing to be thankful for it’s just that I've been so caught up in life’s issues I forgot to be thankful for anything.

So there I was dumb founded by what should have been an obviously easy question and I couldn't think of one thing to be thankful for. In that moment I decided to think about all the things I was thankful for, because if I had to be honest I was blessed beyond abundance. I have chosen the 12 gifts from the movie: The Ultimate Gift to be thankful for. The movie considered the following 12 gifts as the most important gifts to be thankful for in life.

The Gift of Work:
I was grateful for being at school and following the promise to myself to get to a certain education level at a certain age. I was busy accomplishing this yet I wasn't even grateful for it.
The Gift of Money:
I might not rich but I wasn't starving either so clearly in the money department I was sorted yet I was still not grateful for this gift.
The Gift of Friends:
This was the one thing gift I was most grateful for. I had the most amazing friends who would move heaven and earth for me in fact I consider them my brothers and sisters. They have held my hand in the darkest hours of my life and they were always consistent in their loyalty to me my mini Oprah’s as I call them.
The Gift of Learning:
Learning as a gift for me is reflective of the lessons and issues I've conquered and overcome. How many people actually consider that a gift, hell even I have never considered it as one but it was something to be grateful for.
The Gift of Problems:
On this all I can say is, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and if you've been through problems and come out tops be grateful especially if you've still maintained your level of sanity.
The Gift of Family:
How does one survive in this jungle without a strong family foundation? In fact anyone who has met my family knows they are a crazy bunch but they love and give unconditionally in fact they are always willing to fight my battles for me……………..gotta love the family.
The Gift of Laughter:
This is something I haven’t indulged in the longest of time but it is something I am working hard on to revive. Laughter keeps the doctor and all negative things away. I am learning to re-appreciate this oh so previous young past gift.
The Gift of Dreams:
This is the gift I am working on the hardest. Without our dreams we are basically navigating through life without a compass, so if you have dreams hold onto them and work hard to making them a reality. It is the one thing no human being can take away from you plus it’s free. 
The Gift of Giving:
This is one gift that I have lost touch with. Giving is one of the most important aspects as it keeps us in touch with our humanity and sense of care. When you give, give selflessly and without any expectations.
The Gift of Gratitude:
Ultimately be thankful for all that you are, have and will accomplish in life.
The Gift of a Day:
How many of us actually wake up and thank the Lord for a new day? That is the one gift we take for granted. There are people out there praying for extra an day for they know the end is near but for those of us in good health, we cannot even be thankful for a dawn of a new day. Appreciate every sunrise and sunset.
The Gift of Love:
Love, the ultimate gift for it induces all the other gifts for it is the one emotion that is a universal language. When was the last time you told someone you loved them and meant it? When was the last time you showed a strange love? The power of love has the ability to both wound and heal but when used for the latter; it has the ability to do so much. In fact according to the bible in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 love is the greatest gift because “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”.

Passion Killings: What’s love got to do with it?

By Desmond N Nikanor

I always found it strange that the Oshiwambo language uses the same word to express the very strong (and very different) emotions of ‘like’ and ‘love’. My suspicions were further augmented when I observed the typical Oshiwambo relationship between a father and son.  Without generalizing and with great respect to the exceptions, the father communicates to his son through a series of harshly barked instructions, unintelligible grunts and demeaning murmurs on how far the boy is falling short of the mark of manhood. Discussions about feelings, studies, relationships, dreams and aspirations are as elusive as the cattle they need to spend hours finding every day.  I do, however, find it strange that society is now asking why our men cannot express themselves adequately in romantic relationships and resort to detestable actions when their “effort at loving” is thrown back in their faces

The concept of love has been misrepresented – it has been used so much that the true meaning has been eroded away over the years. There is no better place to define love than from The One who loved first.  Through the Bible, God graciously gave us a detailed description and explanation of the characteristics of love:

“ Love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no    

   record of wrong-doing. Love always protects”

- extracted from 1 Corinthians 13

 

God was wise and kind enough to break down what He meant by the notion of love – should we not take serious note of this and assess our partners with these criteria in mind? In the same way you read and follow an owner’s manual from the manufacturer once you buy a new gadget, the bible is the manual on the order of our life – made by the very One who made us and knows how we best operate.   Namibian men and perhaps women as well, have fallen completely short of the true definition of what it means to love and cannot discern whether a relationship they are in is actually love, or just some distorted arrangement based on self-gratification which will always and inevitably lead to destruction.

Young Namibian ladies can learn to identify what real love is and learn not entertain relationships that do not meet those criteria. In the same breath, Namibian men must understand that to say “I Love Her” means that whatever you do for her is in her best interest, regardless of the outcome.

Perhaps once we resort back to God’s principles, we can go back to using the word Passion to describe an intense love and desire for something good. 

TOO DAMN SICK AND TIRED

I am pissed, so bloody pissed off. Like how the hell can people be so cruel and heartless? Have we really become so far removed from our emotions we do not consider others or have we become so self-absorbed to the point of not caring. Before you get me all wrong all these emotions are streaming from having watched the movie 12 Years as a Slave. This movie made me weep like a baby and mad as hell. This is all streaming from the pent up frustration, anger, worry whatever the hell you want to call it, which has been building up in me for a while now.

The reality is that even today people all over the world are experiencing modern day slavery yet as human beings many of us close of that reality because it does not affect us nor has it hit close to home. However, do we really have to wait for things to hit close to home before we become active change agents? Moreover, do we ever think of what our ancestors have had to endure for us to be experiencing this democracy that we take for granted! Even I am guilty of this crime because half the times I spend it bitching about things that are stupid and irrelevant. Yes, I have been so self-absorbed by the issues in my our world, issues that should not even take precedence in my life, whilst forgetting there are people out there in far worse of situations. To think that people had actually lost their lives to slavery and apartheid yet we can’t take the time to appreciate what has been given to us so freely. How many of us young people can say we would not have been broken if we had to endure the same circumstances! Watching the movie made me think that it’s time we started reevaluating the things that are important, the things we take for granted.  When was the last time you woke up and just thanked the Lord for being blessed and healthy!

To borrow the words of Bob Marley “Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds”. We need to stop this banana republic mentality that we have developed and continue to breed. We are slowly become a nation of unappreciative young people so busy blaming the world and everyone else for the things we fail to correct and work on because of our own inadequacies. We have become a nation of selfish beings and often I worry for the generations to come because if we continue down this path, and try to forget our history our forefathers will turn in their graves especially if they had to see what their sacrifices have amounted to. At times I am often ashamed to live in this century. We need to find Jesus because clearly doing things on our own is causing us to self-destruct. I am sick, sick and tired of being sick and tired. 

REFLECTIONS ON LIFE

So it was recently suggested I seemed bitter in my blog and to be honest, some posts were written during the darkest time in my life to date. Guess I was being bitter because of all the crazy things I've done and hope never to do again. The reality is at some point in our lives, those of us who are honest enough with ourselves realize that we are all afraid to end up alone. Tell me anyone who isn't and I will clearly tell you that, that person hasn't thought further into their old age years.

However, the question I often ask myself is when does one begin to panic about the possibility of ending up alone! Question is we all see these old men and women who are single and we naturally assume they are living the life but the reality is they are not. Sometimes people often fake it and until they start to believe it however, when you go to sleep and all you have are your thoughts that’s when the regret and loneliness kicks in. So does that then mean you’ll need to settle out of the fear of being alone, well such choices at the end of the day are always personal because you’ll be the one sacrificing your happiness to settle. The reality is that being alone has its own benefits but the older you get those benefits turn into loneliness.

Being single in your earlier days should be the one period in your life where you get to lay down the laws of what you want or don’t want from a potential partner.  Growing up I often thought people just needed to have chemistry and the rest will fall in play boy was I wrong. So, wrong I could punch myself for being so stupid. Ladies, gentlemen chemistry is like perfume I've come to realize it is strongest in the beginning and fades over time. That is something that has taken awhile for me to understand and reflect upon. The wise then came up with the concept of settling down with a friend, by friend I mean someone whom you like and can talk to about everything like you would your home girl or home boy. What I am trying to say is settle with someone who brings out your great qualities and can hold your hands in public even when you look like shit because he/she knows you’re just having a bad day and your look is temporal for there is more to you than meets the eye.

Ladies, we need to stop thinking we can change everyone we meet. The reality is change comes from within and in order for that change to happen you need to start with self love.  How can you expect to make someone happy when you yourself are a mess and unhappy!  As soon as people start fixing each other and not working towards a common goal for the future know your relationship is DOOMED. A Relationship should be based on more than playing Kerry Washington in Scandal/The Fixer. Moreover, if you start exhibiting changes in your behavior to a point where you don’t recognize yourself, then you know it’s time to let go of that sinking ship. Yes, if any person or relationship causes you to become a crazy version of yourself to a point where you could be described as psychotic person then you know it’s time to let go and don’t be afraid to be alone. It wouldn't be easy but it’s either that or you waste away pinning for someone who will likely move on whiles you make yourself stationary. In life if you do all the right things for your life, the right person for you will come in good time.

Growing up is not easy but don’t compromise your principles to accommodate people who don’t deserve it.

Interesting article for further reading:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wait-but-why/how-to-pick-your-life-partner_b_4848898.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women&ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000050

The road to flawless skin: Part 1

After years of fighting dark spots and acne, if I can even call it that, I have finally decided to end this never ending phase of puberty. Hell, I am well beyond the puberty stage but these pimples do not seem to agree. My relationship with pimples honestly needs to end. In order for this to happen, I had to seek professional council and by that I mean a mean ass dermatologist.

Some of you are probably thinking "has she completely lost it?" Before you ride off into the sunset on the judgment horse first hear me out. All my life, I've been surrounded by people with flawless skin. Yes, it was a little intimidating at first but I figured; what the hek, it’s only a passing phase. Boy was I wrong! Name an acne over the counter product and I have used it. Well at the time I thought, a wash and cream in the morning, afternoon and evening will do the trick. And I did used them all expecting to look as good as new. Perhaps not immediately (although at first) but after a few weeks or months. That was some 12 odd years ago. And don't you dare start making pointless calculations about my age. It will not solve my acne problem nor will it help my mental state right now. All you need to know is that I have seen many sunrises and sunsets and lived through acne filled days. Let us not lose focus please.

Anyway, after years of going through different products, both cheap and expensive (by that I mean equal to two denims from Mr P,) I have decided to throw in the towel and seek professional help. By the way, the pharmacies pretended to not remember who I was when I went back to get my money back. The first thing I did after receiving my new best friend aka face cream from the dermatologist, was to march straight to my laptop, can you say GOOGLE anybody? Oh Yes I did it. Of cos I got it from a professional but Google beats that professional who probably spent years reading about pimples all their life. In all honesty, I was worried about the things the Doctor 'forgot' to mention such as side effects of using this magic cream. Boy, did I regret reading about the side effects. I mean they were more than China's 2012 population (Ok maybe I'm being a bit dramatic) but they were enough to make me start second guessing my decision to visit a professional.

However, when acne and desperation make up a sentence to describe your current state, you sort of suck it up and visualise your future flawless skin. Hek, even Justin Bieber suffers from acne. At my age, how am I to share a commonality with 18 year old Justin Bieber??

Needless to say, all that worry was for nothing because the only side effects I've been experiencing so far are just dried lips. The Sahara desert currently has nothing on my lips. My face has also started giving the Niger Delta a run for their money. Perhaps Knowledge Katti should consider mining for oil on my face instead.

Eish! The struggle for flawless skin continues.

Happy Valentine's day

Today all around the world we celebrate the commercial holiday for businesses to score big by selling us the idea of a love filled day. Well before you get me all wrong let me explain why I feel the way I do.  So a few days before 14 February aka Valentines days I decided to do something for myself. Yes I went out and shamelessly got myself a gift as no one was offering. 

With that out of the way I figured I could try and push my budget just a little to get myself a second gift, a tattoo. Only problem I had with this idea was the fact that, I wasn’t much of a sucker for pain. I was considering getting the tattoo in an area that’s considered too painful to link, the wrist. Yes, out of sheer fascination I was going to link my name to my wrist. It’s not like I didn’t already love myself (Sounding slightly egotistic, I know). After much thought and deliberation I decided to abandon the idea all together. 

With that scrapped of my list I went to sleep plotting on what to do with myself on Valentine’s Day. No sooner had I gotten into bed, the mosquitoes decided hell if we aren’t feeding of you then you aren’t sleeping. I kid you not, these little suckers were out for pounds of blood.  Without even realizing it I was on their Valentines list as the main course. The night has never been so long. So being the strategist that I was I decided covering up all of my body even in this heat except for my face would be a better option. I mean what mosquitoes would want to feed from an oily face, anyway. Boy, Was I wrong! The little suckers tried and succeeded in feeding off my face it was crazy. At that point even acne irritation felt way better. To add to my frustrations some of my neighbors figured it was ok to start singing and screaming kumbaya at the oddest hour of the night. The battle between the mosquitoes and I went on for so long, until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. I gave into sleep and let the mosquitoes do their worst and boy did they.  

Needless to say after already no being excited about V-day the mosquitoes made sure I was in the worst of moods all together this morning. So after having scarred the tattoo idea I decided I could still get myself a valentine’s gift in the form of all available mosquito terminating products on the shelf.  Yes you read right for Valentine’s Day I got myself Doom in all its forms and sizes.  I figured I might not be romantic but on this Valentine’s Day I will finally get to sleep in peace. 

Trying to understand life

We often go around saying experience is the best teacher but do we all really need to go that route or can we observe from the sidelines to know we're making a mistake!

Starters:
Yes, its believed that observations are enough to take a conclusive decision without having to experience but we also often forget that observations are flawed for they are never the same. If fact observation are flawed by the mere fact that human behavior is never continuous and if there is a pattern it will require years of observations to be detected. So what I'm driving at with  this topic is that matters of the heart are rarely and seldomly repetitive. However, if matters of the heart look like they are about to repeat themselves yhen by all means draw on experience.

Main Menu
So the problem I have with experience is that even if you learn a lesson from it, it often leaves you scarred. These scars often runs so deep you don't see how it negatively affects some elements of the decisions you take in future. In fact I've seen past experiences ruin prospective happiness all because there were no filters put in for all past hurts. Yes I said filters! We've become such gullible human beings we take in everything given to us without understanding the importance of filtration. This I've seen especially in women! We tend to give our friends advice based on our experiences forgetting that no two people in this world are the same and as such their experiences will not necessarily be the same as well. Thus, I I've learned to try and be honest with my friends when they ask for my advice based on a similar experiences.  I tell them, my advice would be to biased to follow however, deduce from whatever I tell you and remember that not all experiences are the same. This means that I'm hoping that the other party involved is sincere enough to know and understand that whatever they had done was wrong and they need to shy away from such behave.

Dessert:
The reality of the world we live in, is that we need experience, observation and intuition to make a conclusive decision about a lot of matters whether it be those of life or the heart. The gut feeling is never wrong and more so we need to pray about the worries we carry around. Its in this phase that slander becomes a better and attractive option whilst forgetting that someone or people will get hurt in this process. Honesty, then thus becomes an important element of the whole process cause there is only much further that intuition, experience and observation will take you! So before you go around doing and accepting everything you're told like a parrot use intuition, observation, experience,  honesty and good old fashioned prayers to guide you!