GETTING WITH A MARRIED MAN

Article written by: Butterfly Girl 

How I never thought this would be me one day. Like most girls, I grew up to have dreams of a perfect husband at a certain age. I never thought this would happen to me. No one really thinks it will happen to them. No one wishes for it to happen, until one day, you’re in this too deep and you won’t get out.

Yes, I am talking about that one thing…..that complicated thing. An affair with a married man! I never could comprehend how one gets involved with a married man, how do you let yourself get in so deep, so deep that you won’t listen to reason, that you won’t see things for what they are, that he will never leave his wife, it doesn’t matter what he tells you and how much it looks rocky on his end with his wife, he will not leave his wife. And here you are, always telling yourself, “well; with me it’s different”. Yes, it’s always different isn’t it? Perhaps it’s because you are two different people? Mind you the situation is always the same though, the scenario is always the same as the other people’s stories that you’ve heard of. But still, even with all those facts, you still “believe” your case is different.

This was not written to discourage or encourage anyone to do anything. I’m merely sharing this story because I never shared it with anyone really.

I was involved with a married man; I never thought it would happen to me. I didn’t want it to ever happen to me. But it did. So what? Well, I don’t know what to say about it. That man was wonderful I tell you. Now, here’s the difference too about mine, his wife knew about me. They had arranged their life in such a way that I was accommodated too. Yup, I had that kind of an affair with this man. So I had like 3 days in a week, just for me, and the family had the four days. On weekdays, I had the Monday, Wednesday and Friday lunches to spend with him, and Tuesdays and Thursdays and most weekends were for the family.

I don’t know why girls get involved with married men (I speak of girls because I am one and I speak only of what I know). But for me, it was more because I wanted to know what it is I’m warning girls about when I tell them, “don’t ever date a married man”. What exactly are you saying? Why shouldn’t they? So for me, I dated a married man for the experience, for the lesson to learn. I’m one of those people, when I’m told not to touch a hot stove, I will touch it just to see why I got such a stern warning and from that, I will have my own experience to live and tell. So the same applied to this relationship. I did it for the experience. I wasn’t particularly in love with this man, or did I at any point fall in love with him, no, I just liked the way he treated me because HE was rather in love with me. We didn’t have the relationship where I get showered with jewelry and trips to places, no, I had the other one. The one where we sit in a restaurant and he looks at me not like he’s undressing me, no, but like I’m the only thing in the world that exists at that moment. This man was the ideal boyfriend, the kind of guy every girl wants and dreams of. The one who makes you a priority, the one that makes you a point of his existence, even if it’s just for a while. This man would sneak off work to have coffee with me, he would get out of a meeting to come see my face.

It was great to have that kind of attention, to have been loved like that, if there’s such a thing at all. I felt great. And mind you, this man didn’t have problems in his marriage, he simply just fell in love with me and “there was nothing he could do but be with me” he’d said. So I let him.

It was fun though, it was wonderful to have that kind of thing with a man. He made me feel so butterfly-like. When it was over though, I had no regrets, I had learned a lot and unfortunately for the men out there, my standards have gone up high. Now that I know that kind of thing really exists and I have gone through it, I know I don’t have to settle for bullshit. I have learned one thing though, one important thing, and it’s that I never want that kind of relationship again. It’s so limited, we never shared my small moments, I couldn’t call him all the time or any time I wanted. So no thank you ma’am, I won’t go back there now that I know how hot that stove is.

I’m a very open-minded girl, I take chances that I didn’t really think I’d ever have guts to take. I still do, because we only regret the things we didn’t do. So I live!

LIVE AND LET LIVE!!