Monday 26 May 2014

GROWING UP AND MESSING UP

Today I woke up feeling rather odd. The kind of odd that you can’t explain yet it brings you so much peace you smile to yourself and wonder what the Lord has planned for you. The joy I feel in my heart at the moment is unexplained. If fact, it has put me at such ease that I know all will be well for a worrisome me. It is in this joy I chose to write this poem or whatever you want to call it.

GROWING UP
Remember how when you were young you couldn't wait to be older, I also use to be like that. I hated the fact that my mom made most of the decisions for me with regards to what I wore, where I went to school,  how I did my hair and to some extend who I could play with. Every time I did something wrong and I got scolded, I would say in my heart, I can’t wait to be older because I wouldn't have to deal with this shit no more.

For a while there growing up seemed to have its peeks. I felt that independence coming on and I started being able to choose what to wear, how to do my hair, who I could hang with and where to go to school. As a matter of fact I was being almost independent of my mom not forgetting I still received an allowance from her. Gone are the days when I needed her advice. I was now able to take decisions and be proud of myself. My mom’s hold on me was slowly diminishing and I loved it. I was slowly getting into the world.

With time, I found out boys were cool and having a boyfriend was just as great. In that point my mom has almost if not completely been erased from my mind were decisions are concerned. However, she notices the change in me and advises that one needs to be careful of boys. I look at her and smile and think to myself, what could she possibly know about guys. The arrogance of young people I tell you. In fact, I forget that my mom was once a young adult herself and she had lived through all this before.


However, when my first heartbreak kicks in, I realize how much I need my mother. I remember the days when she took all the decisions for me because they never led to any breaking of any sorts. The more mistakes I make the more I miss the dependence of having someone else take the decisions for me. A mother I had taken for granted and at times undervalued her wisdom just for the trill of this little thing I call independence. How foolish we are to think we can go through life without adult consult, wisdom is not born it is grown. So seek consult from your parents and appreciate their advice because when they are no more all you will have are mistakes and regrets of not having seeked it while they were alive. 

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