Passion Killings: What’s love got to do with it?

By Desmond N Nikanor

I always found it strange that the Oshiwambo language uses the same word to express the very strong (and very different) emotions of ‘like’ and ‘love’. My suspicions were further augmented when I observed the typical Oshiwambo relationship between a father and son.  Without generalizing and with great respect to the exceptions, the father communicates to his son through a series of harshly barked instructions, unintelligible grunts and demeaning murmurs on how far the boy is falling short of the mark of manhood. Discussions about feelings, studies, relationships, dreams and aspirations are as elusive as the cattle they need to spend hours finding every day.  I do, however, find it strange that society is now asking why our men cannot express themselves adequately in romantic relationships and resort to detestable actions when their “effort at loving” is thrown back in their faces

The concept of love has been misrepresented – it has been used so much that the true meaning has been eroded away over the years. There is no better place to define love than from The One who loved first.  Through the Bible, God graciously gave us a detailed description and explanation of the characteristics of love:

“ Love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no    

   record of wrong-doing. Love always protects”

- extracted from 1 Corinthians 13

 

God was wise and kind enough to break down what He meant by the notion of love – should we not take serious note of this and assess our partners with these criteria in mind? In the same way you read and follow an owner’s manual from the manufacturer once you buy a new gadget, the bible is the manual on the order of our life – made by the very One who made us and knows how we best operate.   Namibian men and perhaps women as well, have fallen completely short of the true definition of what it means to love and cannot discern whether a relationship they are in is actually love, or just some distorted arrangement based on self-gratification which will always and inevitably lead to destruction.

Young Namibian ladies can learn to identify what real love is and learn not entertain relationships that do not meet those criteria. In the same breath, Namibian men must understand that to say “I Love Her” means that whatever you do for her is in her best interest, regardless of the outcome.

Perhaps once we resort back to God’s principles, we can go back to using the word Passion to describe an intense love and desire for something good.