So it was
recently suggested I seemed bitter in my blog and to be honest, some posts were
written during the darkest time in my life to date. Guess I was being bitter because
of all the crazy things I've done and hope never to do again. The reality is at
some point in our lives, those of us who are honest enough with ourselves realize that we are all afraid to end up alone. Tell me anyone who isn't and I
will clearly tell you that, that person hasn't thought further into their old
age years.
However, the question I often ask myself is when does one begin to
panic about the possibility of ending up alone! Question is we all see these
old men and women who are single and we naturally assume they are living the
life but the reality is they are not. Sometimes people often fake it and until
they start to believe it however, when you go to sleep and all you have are
your thoughts that’s when the
regret and loneliness kicks in. So does that then mean you’ll need to settle out
of the fear of being alone, well such choices at the end of the day are always
personal because you’ll be the one sacrificing your happiness to settle. The
reality is that being alone has its own benefits but the older you get those
benefits turn into loneliness.
Being single in your earlier days should be the one period in your
life where you get to lay down the laws of what you want or don’t want from a
potential partner. Growing
up I often thought people just needed to have chemistry and the rest will fall
in play boy was I wrong. So, wrong I could punch myself for being so stupid.
Ladies, gentlemen chemistry is like perfume I've come to realize it is strongest
in the beginning and fades over time. That is something that has taken awhile
for me to understand and reflect upon. The wise then came up with the concept
of settling down with a friend, by friend I mean someone whom you like and can
talk to about everything like you would your home girl or home boy. What I am
trying to say is settle with someone who brings out your great qualities and
can hold your hands in public even when you look like shit because he/she knows
you’re just having a bad day and your look is temporal for there is more to you
than meets the eye.
Ladies, we need to stop thinking we can change everyone we meet. The
reality is change comes from within and in order for that change to happen you
need to start with self love. How
can you expect to make someone happy when you yourself are a mess and unhappy! As soon as people start fixing each other and
not working towards a common goal for the future know your relationship is
DOOMED. A Relationship should be based on more than playing Kerry Washington in
Scandal/The Fixer. Moreover, if you start exhibiting changes in your behavior to
a point where you don’t recognize yourself, then you know it’s time to let go
of that sinking ship. Yes, if any person or relationship causes you to become a
crazy version of yourself to a point where you could be described as psychotic
person then you know it’s time to let go and don’t be afraid to be alone. It wouldn't be easy but it’s either that or you waste away pinning for someone who will likely move on whiles you make yourself stationary. In life if you do all the right
things for your life, the right person for you will come in good time.
Growing up is not easy but don’t compromise your principles to accommodate
people who don’t deserve it.
Interesting article for further reading:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wait-but-why/how-to-pick-your-life-partner_b_4848898.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women&ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000050
well said Ms Malulu!
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